Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
I will die if light touches me.
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
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