If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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