hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Randomize