bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
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