i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
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