yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
Randomize
