He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Randomize
