Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
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