If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
