but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Randomize
