that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
Randomize