Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
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