At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
Randomize
