perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
