I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
Randomize
