Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Randomize
