I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
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