when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Randomize
