you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
