I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
