dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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