so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
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