She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
vagina is talking i cant
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
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