please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize