and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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