Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
