I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
