I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
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