but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
