SEEEEXXX PLEASE
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Randomize