if i can run in heels then i can drive
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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