And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
Randomize
