Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
Randomize
