i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize
