So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
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