Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
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