i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Randomize
