Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
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