i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
