That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
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