I will die if light touches me.
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
