Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
