Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
only you would photoshop your dick
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
I would fuck him just for his dog
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
Randomize
