I wanna bring you to show and tell
I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
Randomize
