Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
