Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize