i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
Rumble strips road head = magical
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
