The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
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