I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
Randomize
