was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
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