You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Randomize
