come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
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