it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
Randomize
