I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
organizing the empties. That sober.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Randomize
