he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize
