I'm lost and stupid without you.
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
mondays should just be called national damage control day
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
Randomize
