Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Randomize
