I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
Come share oat with me in your robe
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
Randomize
