i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
how does that bad decision feel?
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize
