and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
