My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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