I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
