i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
Randomize