I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
Randomize