I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
