i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
Randomize