I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
I am puke
Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
