My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Randomize
