You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
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