my vag is so smooth its legendary
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Randomize
