he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
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